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Chip Brown.

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In Rich

I've decided to be rich when I grow up! I fooled around with the idea of being well off, but I've decided rich is the way to go.

Now, I don't really want to work for my money so I've decided to get rich by being one of those dot com people. You know those goomers that launch a dot com, get people to invest obscene amounts of money, sell the company to some dufus who doesn't realize it's worthless and then moves to the Bahamas!

I've already got me a cool dot com too. It's this here Maynardville.Com and it just has success written all over it. Just look how prosperous the city by the same name is. Three redlights, a McDonalds and a Hardees!

My wife says Maynardville.Com has "I stole my wife's credit card and bought this dot com while she was at work" written all over it. But since it keeps me out of trouble much like dogs that follow me home, she let me keep it.

Now, the first thing I need to do is to get a lot of people to give me tons of money in hopes I might one day make money with this website, and somehow feel the need to pay them back. Now, I'm not an expert, but this may be the tricky part of my dot com venture.

I've also toy'd with the idea of putting those banner ads on the site. They keep sending me e-mails offering me money to do it. I like that one you see on sites that says "Punch the Monkey and win $10,000!" You've seen it, the monkey runs back and forth and you try to click on it. Everytime I click on it, not only do I fail to win anything, I get taken to a porn site that charges my wife's credit card. The only monkey that gets punched is me.

I know what you're thinking, but my wife has already said I can't go into the Internet Porn business. And besides, you all called me names when I tried to start the Miss Maynardville.Com contest.

Nah, banner ads won't work. I checked, they only pay 9 cents per click. I get about 3000 visitors a week, times 9 cents that's...um....well not a lot of money. And besides, most people that visit Maynardville.Com are too smart to click on "Punch the Monkey" banner ads anyway.

CRAP!

How does one go about making money on the Internet?

Hey, I saw this thing on TV last night. This guy bought this old run down bus from a junkyard. Little known to the junkyard proprietor some famous person rode on this particular bus. He sold the blasted thing on Ebay for $300,000!

Ebay!

I'll make my fortune on Ebay!

All one has to do is to figure out what the next big fad will be, like Beanie Babies, and stock up. You remember when those things were selling at prices that made you think they were filled with cocaine instead of beans?

Then, when whatever it is starts selling out at the stores, put them on Ebay and make a killing! Oh man, this is so easy I can't figure why everyone isn't doing this!

Okay....lets see...Any of you know what the next big thing is going to be? If so please email me because I haven't got a clue.

The contents of this page does not necessarily represent the opinions of Maynardville.Com, it's owners or the staff.