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Chip Brown.

Brain E Ack

I've just finished watching the CNN morning news, or as I've come to call it, the Anthrax channel. You know for a disease that hasn't been heard from in years, CNN is doing a great job digging up "Experts" on it.

Hey, you know the difference in the Congress and the New York Firefighters? When the terrorists attack the firefighters run in the building and Congress runs out. What a bunch of losers. Not so much for leaving, but next time CNN shows the tape (once every 15 minutes) look at the Congressmen leaving. They look like old maids running from a bachelor party. They have fear written all over their faces. These are the same "talking heads" that told me last week there is nothing to be afraid of.

Let me do my part to put your fears at ease. First off, more people died from the flu last year in America than have died worldwide from anthrax in the past ten years. That's just a fact.

Second, I don't think the terrorists are behind it. We let the news media lead us to believe these terrorists are masterminds of terror. The news media tells us how smart these guys were to have "masterminded" the airplane attacks.

Let's see, how much brain work does it take to crash an airplane? I mean if you are up there flying around sooner or later you'll eventually hit something on the ground. They spent the night before in a bar refusing to pay their tabs. When they got to the airport that morning they got into an argument with an old man over a parking place. My Lord they come from a country with an air force complete with fighter planes. Does it seem odd they had to come to America to take flying lessons? What kind of air force doesn't have pilots?

They've been rioting over there in Pakistan. I noticed they burnt down a Kentucky Fried Chicken. I have no doubt in my mind they were trying to smoke that capitalist American Colonel out.

I am enlightened to find that no matter where you are, or what the situation is, you can always find a guy like me. A guy that realizes everyone around him is an idiot and makes light of it. I saw them marching in the streets over there in Pakistan. They were all carrying their signs with various "Down with America" slogans. Many of the signs had pictures of George "Speech a day" Bush" and Colin Powell. But if you look closely right in the middle of the shot on CNN. Right as they pass the guy with the goat, there is a guy in the middle that seems out of place.

While all the rest are walking around waving signs calling for a Holy Jethro (jehad or something like that) against the United States, he's carrying a sign, but he has this grin on his face. All the rest look evil and menacing, but this guy is grinning. Then you look at his sign, it doesn't have a slogan, it has a picture of Bin Laden with Bert (from Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie).

I am quite sure if we ever protested something here in America, I'd do something like that. I'll bet if you could find this guy over there and he's not been drug through the streets behind a cow, his name is probably Chip Brown-Lamadon or something. He probably writes for a website like Kabul.Com.

So when you get to thinking everyone over there is bad, just think about Chip Brown-Lamadon carrying his Bert sign down the street. Anybody crazy enough to do that deserves to live. Probably needs to be locked up in a padded room, but he deserves to live.

Folks, my point is, no matter how much the news media spins the hype, these guys are far less than masterminds. It just makes us feel better to think of them that way.

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