This page ©2001
Chip Brown.

Whats Up

The only person any more ignorant than the moron who coined the phrase "What's Up", is the imbecile that decided it was too hard to say both words and shortened it to one...Wassup.

Go around the schools and you'll hear this...um word...over and over. You'll also see kids wearing pants around their knees. I thought we had a dress code! I was up wandering around career day a couple of weeks ago and was amazed! I thought we had a rule about green hair and showing our stomachs in public. And there was this one girl in clear violation of the 3" from the knee rule.

So this leads me to believe I was right about all this dress code stuff. It was no more than a bunch of wanna-be somebodies that just wanted to make up useless rules. Either that or the administrators of the highschool are blind.

Some time back it was either Bill or Hillary that said the first two years of college should be as common as highschool to kids. Folks, to our kids the first two years of college are highschool. A few years back we graduated a kid number one in their class. They spent the first year in college taking highschool classes.

The American school system is so overburdened with know it all policy makers, somewhere we ran out of time to let teachers teach. When I graduated highschool I knew how to diagram a sentence. Now, it's true I haven't found this skill overly useful in life today, but I am still proud of it. Today we graduate kids that need a calculator and a Hooked On Phonics video to make change for a dollar.

Every time I turn around I hear that school systems need more money. Maybe they do, but what will we spend it on? More computers? We look at computers as the Gods of knowledge. We place our kids in front of them like an altar and pray to the Microsoft God to make our children geniuses. It isn't working! Did Abe Lincoln write his Gettysburg address on a computer?

I say we don't spend another tax dollar on schools until at least half the graduating class demonstrates enough sense not to make extra holes in their body parts. When I go to Burger King and don't confuse the wonder of modern education running the drive through, I will gladly give more money to schools. Because then I'll know we're doing something right.

But when you ask a school system what they're doing to improve the quality of kid's education they tell you how many computers they have. That's like Ford saying they make better cars because they have more computers than Chevrolet.

Now, of course I have an idea on how to fix schools in America. I think it should be mandatory that parents spend one day a month at their kid's schools. Not sitting in a class, but chained to a drainpipe in the halls. Look at what kids are wearing and what the kids are saying.

Now, here's the catch. Until a student can accurately spell thermodynamics, this parent doesn't get the key to the chains. I guess we better chain them to a toilet instead, they'll probably have a long wait.

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