This page ©2001
Chip Brown.

Idiot See

Well, it looks like they're going to lethally inject the Oklahoma City Bomber. Ever noticed how bombings or shootings seem to spur copycats? Everytime there is a school shooting some dufus calls in a bomb threat and get's one of our school's evacuated. That angers me to no end. It shows the idiocy of people who want to get in trouble but don't have the imagination to do so on their own. They say to themselves, "look what that idiot does, I can do something twice as stupid as that." Then they try to prove it. Scares the dickens out of me. Here are two examples of what I mean:

Three weeks after the Oklahoma City bombing, police in Halifax, Mass., charged Robert Brinson, 28, with assembling a so-called fertilizer bomb to blow up his ex-girlfriend and her family. However, police said Brinson's bomb could not have exploded since Brinson had mistakenly used potting soil instead of fertilizer.

State police in Tennessee charged Jack Allan Iles with telephone harassment after he called in a bomb threat to the office of the state attorney general in Nashville. According to the employee who received the call, Iles threatened to deliver an Oklahoma City-style bomb but then asked for directions to the office.

Then when we arrest them and lock them up it's no better. From a March letter to the editor of the Kingsport (TN.) Times-News, exposing local jail conditions, written by inmate Travis Nelms, 22, who had been locked up for the ninth time since 1992. Here in part is what his letter said:

"We the inmates here at the Sullivan County Jail [are] concerned that here we all [are] treated as criminals."

Hmm? Maybe this guy has a point, maybe we should treat them as monkeys. Put them in a cage full of trees and monkey poop and make them eat bananas. Then for the recreation hour they can all sit around and pick fleas off one another.

So, am I in favor of capital punishment? Yes! In fact I think it should be expanded to include crimes other than murder. I think McDonald's workers who mess up my Happy Meal order should get the chair! I think everyone who stops at yellow lights should be hanged! But, I guess that's why you people refuse to elect me your leader.

However, as much as I'm in favor of capital punishment I'm more in favor of torture. Yes, I think if we administer a little torture for lesser crimes there wouldn't be so many people in death row. What ever happened to the good old days of tar and feathers? Really, when was the last time you saw someone walking down the street covered in feathers? New York excluded of course.

And I think we should bring back public whippings. My old 4th grade teacher would make a good public whacker. She had enough practice on me.

But what about this Oklahoma City Bomber? We spend a gazillion dollars to execute him in a humane way. He executed more than 100 people with a couple of hundred dollars of ammonia-nitrate. I think we should strap a stick of dynamite to his rear end and tell him sometime this week it will explode. Then sit him in a room and let him think about it.

But what can we expect from the justice system we have? The other day a guy here in Knox County confessed to robbing a bank. Yet it was decided there was not enough evidence to prosecute him. What evidence do they need, he said he did it for goodness sakes!

Back in the olden days we drug robbers out in front of the Courthouse and beat the tar out of them. Then we reapplied a new layer of tar and added some feathers. Today we take someone who admits they robbed a bank and try to convince 12 morons he meant what he said. Then if we're lucky they'll put him on probation and tell him to never be a bad boy again. Then we'll release him and wait to see if his next crime will be more imaginitive.

Eventually, he'll kill someone and we'll try our best to blame the police in some way and release him once again. If we can't sufficiently blame the police we'll keep retrying him. After five or six trials if we can't find that the police somehow caused this guy to commit his crime, we'll lock him up. Then eventually we'll give him probation and start all over again.

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