This page ©1999 Chip Brown.

Who Says I'm Not Popular?

My wife said that if I didn't tell you this story she would. I tried to put her off by explaining that she didn't know anything about coding and HTML so she couldn't write an article for the page. What she said after that made no sense at all. She told me that if I could learn to do this, it must be so simple even a mentally challenged monkey could do it. Now, was she calling me dumb or calling herself a mentally challenged monkey? I fought the urge but in the end I asked.

Men, never ask questions like that. If you don't understand what your wife says, she will be more than willing to explain it a second time. Women think that a good whack in the head is useful for driving the point home, should they have to explain a second time.

Anyway, I enjoy surfing the Internet from time to time for nonsense. I have looked far and wide for sites like ours. A down home humor sort of thing. Dave Barry, Andy Rooney, Sam Veneble (I have all his autographed books by the way), etc. But they all fall short of my brand of humor. I certainly don't think I'm better, they're all in more papers than me. But, I keep looking for good humor sites.

I found a site, nothing like ours but oddly fun. It was called The Spark at TheSpark.Com. Funny stuff, online tests and the such. I enjoyed all their tests and even linked to their site for others to enjoy. I signed up on their mail list, so I would get notification of new tests to take. These are just silly tests.

Then I took the relationship test. It was fun and asked many silly questions about what you think about yourself and what you think about the opposite sex. I filled out the form with my wife sitting beside me. Some of the questions were funny, but I mentioned to my wife that this test wasn't that humorous.

At the end of the form I clicked submit and nothing happened. What a gyp! No funny message or insult like usual, it just thanked me.

Then the next day I got an e-mail from The Spark. It said they had found my match! Ah, this is the punchline I thought. It gave me an address to go to and see my match. I thought it's got to be a monkey or some sort of funny photo.

Folks, you are reading the article of the only man in Union County to sign up for an online dating service while his wife watched!

I couldn't believe it! Here were two girls who had left notes for me on this website! No kidding they offered me pictures...My wife said no.

So, since then I have gotten several e-mails from interested young ladies and some not so young. My wife thinks it's hilarious! I would too if it had happened to someone else.

Luckily the e-mails come through The Spark so they can't find me. Oh good grief what a mess. My wife is telling everybody. Oh, she thinks it's just a hoot. But when she tells the story she leaves out the part about sitting here with me while I did it. I fully expect to see this in the Newsleader before long. I honestly get asked about it by people I don't know.

Well here's my point. I have been involved with computers and the Internet for many years and TelNet and BBS before that. If someone like me can get into this much trouble on the Internet, you should really watch your sixth graders on the computer closely.

My wife wants me to assure you all that no matter how smart you think I am, a sixth grader would known better than to sign up for an online dating service.

I think she's just jealous because she took the test too. I've gotten three proposals to her none!

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