This page ©1999 Chip Brown.
At Auction Very Soon
I have always been amazed at some of the things people auction off over on Ebay. Kidney, used tombstones, caskets all sorts of neat stuff. It really looks like a money making situation to us at Maynardville.Com. That's why we're thinking of starting our own auction site.
We can't take all the credit for the idea, a lot of it goes to the guy that stopped by here the other day. We didn't get his name, but he gave us the deal of a lifetime. Actually, we feel kind of bad that maybe we took advantage of him. But in business, after all it's the survival of the fittest.
We gave this poor sap $10,000 for the Hwy 33 Bridge! Now folks, we all know that any bridge is worth more that $10,000! Just last year the state said it would cost 3.5 million dollars to build another bridge across Norris Lake. That's why we jumped at the chance to buy this one!
Now, we are willing to part with our bridge for a slight profit, after all we have to pay the bills too. Let me tell you a little about the advantages in investing in bridges.
First, everyone needs a bridge. I bet you can't think of many people who don't use a bridge to get to work, or to go home each and every day! This makes a bridge a valuable asset to anyone who owns a car. As more and more lakes pop up, it's going to get harder and harder to get anywhere without a bridge. Here's your chance to own your own.
Now the 33 bridge is a steel frame bridge built way back in the 1930's no reinforced concrete construction here, just plain old American steel and rust! The 33 bridge was painted three years ago and now is adorned with a mural that reads "Your Mama!" A classic American phrase tastefully done in red spray paint.
If you're looking for an investment with liquid assets the purchase of a bridge is for you. The 33 Bridge is abundant with liquid assets as millions of gallons of Clinch River flow under it each day. Our guarantee to you is that if you purchase our bridge, and the lake goes dry we will purchase your bridge back no questions asked.
We will also insure your bridge for the entire time you own it. If at any time someone steals your bridge, we will refund your money or replace the bridge at our discretion.
Remember also that if you're homeless or expect to be in the future, a bridge is a great place to live. Plenty of room underneath for a leanto or a shack of some sort. Plenty of water for both drinking and toilet duties. I would suggest you choose one activity for the water supply and not use it for both.
Still not convinced that a bridge is for you? Well how about this? How about if you purchase the 33 Bridge from us in the next ten days, we throw in the Blackfox Bridge as well. That's right folks, the Blackfox and the 33 Bridge for one low price of $10,000!
Still not ready to buy? You are a shrewd dealer! Okay you've got us over a barrell, Maynardville.Com is going out of the bridge business and must unload these bridges fast. So, to the first person that actually coughs up ten grand, we'll throw in this fabulous set of Ginsu steak knives!
So mail your checks to us Maynardville.Com Maynardville, TN 37807. Be the first on your block to own your own bridge! And remember Maynardville.Com isn't just the owner of a bridge, we're also a user!
The contents of this page does not necessarily represent the opinions
of Maynardville.Com, it's owners or the staff.
