The Stupidity of It All

Once again, against my better judgment, I have watched the news on TV. I swore I'd never do it again, but once again (in the words of Jerry Falwell) I have sinned against you my friends. Now this article may offend some of you who are culturally biased. If so I am sorry. But, indeed I think everyone can take solace in the knowledge that what I write blasts all cultures across the board.

First a serious note, sort of. Anybody besides me sick of hearing about this Illiad kid? The one that floated to America on a innertube? I'm sick of hearing it. To grant asylum, the kid must be facing political reprisal should he return home. The only thing that kid is facing when he gets home is a parade. And a father, who by all accounts is a good dad. If this kid was thirty, his carcass would have already been shipped back to Cuba.

Now I feel for the child, I really do. I wish every kid could have the life I've enjoyed here in the states. But come to America legally. Don't give me this crap about having to escape Cuba. The military in Cuba numbers one thirty second of the population. If it's so bad, the people should quit building leaky boats and overthrow their government.

Now my final thought on this kid. This may be my most serious thought and one I've researched somewhat. The three days this kid spent in the ocean was clear and sunny. No rain, and no cloud cover prevailed in the area for any of the three days. When he was recovered he had on no shirt and was clinging to an innertube. Am I the only one to notice, this kid isn't sunburned?

Last night on the news it was reported that officials at Los Alamos National Laboratory caught this guy named Win Ho Lee, spying for China. Um... What did they think when they hired someone named Win Ho Lee to work at a top secret research facility. I have nothing against Chinese at all, don't get me wrong.

I'm just saying that common sense says some guy named Bob Jones is a lot less likely to spy for China than a guy named Win Ho Lee. I say prosecute Win Ho, but fire the dufus that hired him. OK I'm gonna get it for this one aren't I?

Now CNN reports that officials in another state have caught prison inmates stealing credit card numbers and running up huge bills for people. Now just how pray tell did these inmates get credit card numbers?

In an effort to reform these prisoners, state officials paid them a daily wage to process credit card orders made by citizens purchasing state products and services. A great plan, I am all for people being reformed.

But it just irritates me the way the state official seemed shocked when interviewed on the news. He promised a state investigation into how the inmates did this. Let me save a few tax dollars. I have already completed my investigation.

They give convicted criminals access to people's credit card numbers, and then act surprised when they do bad things with them. I am a computer programmer, these people are criminals. I program computers, these people commit crimes, it's just what we do for a living. Don't give criminals credit card numbers! And if you do, don't get on CNN and act surprised that they did bad things, with the credit card numbers you gave them.

I try to make a living writing computer programs. Criminals try to make a living defrauding the masses. But the real person who should be locked up is the politician who decided it was a good idea to give prison inmates credit card numbers. I say lock this guy up before he hurts someone. It is evident to me he is incapable of reasonable thought.

A Ryder van wrecked here in Tennessee killing one person. It injured eighteen, even though it was a one car wreck. Police last night said that they are investigating why so many people were in the back of the van.

Now all these people were Mexican nationals, and none had green cards or work permits. Well let's see...

A joyride? No that doesn't seem to fit.

Out for a picnic? Yeah I bet that's it, no wait they didn't have a basket.

Took a wrong turn at Texas? No most likely they would have figured that out before Tennessee.

Now if the truck had been loaded with Cubans on innertubes, we would have already found homes for them all. Then we'd start a legal battle with Mexico to stop them from taking these illegal aliens back. Then we'd put them on the Today show, and make heroes out of them.

When a cattle trailer overturns on the interstate, we don't launch an investigation into what the cows were up to do we? Now if the State would read my pages, I could save them a bundle on this investigation. They were illegal aliens!

I know this sounds funny, but someone is being paid your tax dollars, to spend two weeks deciding what these people were up to. Not so funny now is it?

Now I hear presidential candidate Bill Bradley has a bad ticker. So what? Why do we spend three hours debating this and nobody says anything when George Bush says "I'm not telling, if I've ever smoked dope." Then he says That's not the way politics should be played!

Bill Clinton was the first presidential candidate to really be attacked for dope smoking in an election. Who did it to him? Who attacked him? I think it was George Bush's dad wasn't it?

Now here's my point on this. I am not endorsing any candidate. I intend for the first time in my life to write in a candidate. Right now it's between Bullwinkle Moose and Wile E. Coyote. But why am I the only person to ask this question? Why am I the only person to point out that George Bush saying, "that's dirty politics" seems to be attacking a tactic used by his own father?

Where is journalism these days? We don't have journalists. we have news readers. They are pretty boys, and fifty year old women trying to look young, reading from cue cards. They have names like Solidad and Roshumba.

Walter Cronkite wasn't much to look at and neither was Andy Rooney, but when they gave the news, they made you think. They made people angry, and they made children cry! They made us fear the Russians, not try to give them jobs. You were guaranteed to see one person be interviewed into a caniption! Somehow, I just can't see Harry Reasoner telling you how to make fruitcake with Martha Stewart.

So what was my point in all this? Beats me but, it really made me angry watching the news last night. I promise to swear off the news, so I won't rant like this again. Well I promise not to watch the news for a week. That is unless there is a natural disaster of some sort. But without some sort of disaster, you have my word that I won't watch the news this weekend. Yes sir, I'm swearing off the news totally and without giving it another thought. I will not watch the news at all today! I will find something less irritating to watch on TV. Maybe I'll watch that Cirque Du Soleil thing on Bravo tonight.

Well that's all for this rant, I've gotta go, the news is coming on.

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