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The Martian Chronicles

Generally, I try to stay on topic for my articles. Actually, I try to stay on three or four topics for each article I write. I try to skew each article towards Union County in some way. Something I've wanted to write about is the Mars Lander fiasco. I just couldn't figure what the Mars Lander had to do with Union County.

So today I pick up the newspaper (Union Newsleader) and find that Bull Run was recently visited by an unknown flying object. Now don't get me wrong here, I totally believe that this person saw something. I am not making fun. Actually I will just go on record as saying I believe in UFO's. After reading my articles, you'll find that easier to believe. But in all reality, I believe it is somewhat vain for us to think we are the only beings in a universe so vast we haven't named most of it.

So anyway, I decided this was my link to give my opinions on the Mars Lander fiasco. We were told in the sixties that going to the moon was a national priority. We spent billions to get there! We beat the russkies! So what was the big deal? If it was so important and great why don't we ever go back?

How many hungry people could be fed for what we spent on this Mars probe? One of the advertisements by Nasa was that research done in space could one day put a stop to hunger on Earth. Well here's a reality check for us all! Lets quit spending billions on fancy Martian bottle rockets and buy prescriptions for the elderly. Lets take the billions we spent on this Mars Lander and feed and clothe the poor. Lets take the billions of dollars and give all our elected officials a ten percent pay increase. I understand that they promise to do their job if they get a raise!

So what do I think happened to the Mars Lander? Well, Martians of course! After all, how would we like it if people on Jupiter kept lobbing tons of rocket propelled steel at us? I'm telling you people if we don't stop we're gonna make them Martians mad. I suspect that the green light seen in Union County the other night was the Martians shooting our lander back at us!

Now, I am not without offering different opinions on what may have happened. I believe that most likely the lander did indeed land on Mars. I think it's sitting there trying to phone home right now. I suspect with all the budget cutbacks Nasa has to use one of those 10-10 something or other long distance phone services. You know the ones where you have to dial fifty numbers before you make your call. Well it would be easy for the guy who programmed the lander's onboard phone to dial the wrong number.

I suspect there is some guy in Omaha getting a strange call every six hours. "You have a collect call from...Mars Lander...Will you accept the charges?"

You know I read an article the other day about how many tons of junk we've blasted off into space that's still just floating around up there. If we ever are visited by aliens from another planet, what will they think? I bet well be the planet that ruins the universe for everyone. We'll have hundreds of old junk space vehicles out in front of our planet. Kind of the way junk cars decorate yards. Problem is we can't put our space vehicles up on blocks and tell the aliens we're fixing them up.

And if they ever do visit, we'll probably hit them with the next load of junk we blast at Mars.

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