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The Beast Has Numbers?

This Crusade thing going on in Union County, what's the deal with this? Gary Beeler is a friend of mine, and I certainly have no problem with crusades, revivals and church bake sales. What I do have a problem with is the news media again! Surprise!

Last Saturday we had a walkathon here in Union County to benefit a good cause. Did the newsmedia show up? No! They could have given it a little press to increase the participation. A thirty second spot could have helped the walkathon get more money. When the Crusade started did the newsmedia come up and film it? No! If they had, more people might have attended and more people might have been helped. They only came to Union County after school kids went to the Crusade. I'm not taking sides on the school\Crusade thing, I see the need for kids to hear religion, and I see the other side saying if we allow Christ to be taught in school we would have to allow Muslim or whatever. But what I do see is the newsmedia's motive.

They didn't come to save the kids from the Crusade. They didn't come to uncover civil rights violations. No, they came because Union County, once again, was caught in an embarrassing situation. They cover nothing good here, they don't cover our wrecks. All they come for is a chance to stir up a stink and try to make us look like fools.

Oh well, at least the Crusade got us all thinking about religion again. Yes, I am a hypocritical Baptist. I have a friend that's Catholic and we were talking about this Crusade thing and our different religious viewpoints. She said if she did something wrong all she had to do was confess. Shoot, I'm better off than her! As a Baptist I don't see a whole lot wrong with anything I do, and I sure don't have to confess. The rest of the church already knows what I did!

I have discussed with all of you before a bad experience I had in church once, let me give you another. If this doesn't demonstrate that God gets even with idiots like me nothing will.

Back when I was in school I worked at the White Stores, a grocery chain in Knoxville. I was a bit of a miser and had the first penny I ever earned. My girlfriend at that time went to a little church here in the county that was having a fund raiser to build something or other. Well, fundraiser to me meant a raffle, every Baptist church has raffles! We don't want no lottery, but we'll sell you a chance on a used car!

She hit me up for money, as I couldn't go to their church get together, I had to work. Now bear in mind I was money hungry and earned at that time about $130 a week. I never spent a dime and for a kid my age was loaded with money. When she asked for money I figured it mathematically. There were only about twelve couples that went to this church. If I invested $100 and let's say the raffle tickets are about $2 I am bound to win first prize! Like a kid in a candy store I speculated on what it might have been. Maybe a new shotgun? Maybe a color TV? Who knows! But surely it would be worth more than my investment of $100! I will take my gain and sell it. I can actually make money by investing in this church function.

I wish I had read the flyer or at least asked my girlfriend because it didn't work out. It wasn't a raffle at all, she didn't know how I got that idea! It was something called a pie supper. It works this way...Girls bake pies, and boys sit around bidding on them. If they win the bid they get to sit with that girl and eat pie. She took my $100 and stood up in front of the church and announced, "My boyfriend can't be here, but he bids $100 on my pie!"

Oh good grief! Of course, nobody outbid me, the whole get together only raised $427 and $100 of that was my pie! I didn't get to sit with a girl, I didn't get to eat pie, I just got shafted out of $100. I wouldn't have paid $100 for the girlfriend!

That night when she told me that I paid $100 for a blueberry pie I was beside myself. I guess she was right when she told me that I got what I deserved for trying to make money out of church.

So what does this have to do with numbers and the beast? Well, the Crusade hoopla got me to thinking about church and religion. Anytime, I think of church I first think about is my $100 pie! Rotten blueberry... But, the second thing I think about is the line of the Bible about the Beast and his number. When I was a kid I thought this beast had a phone and this was his number.

Well, I got out my trusty Bible and read more about this beast. I realize now that the number, of course isn't the phone number of the beast, surely his number would be 1-900-666-6666, but it got me thinking. Does the beast have other numbers?

Maybe 666 was the beast's house number. After all, we all got numbers when that 911 stuff was installed. I guess the number of the beast's next door neighbor would be 667.

But what about other numbers of the beast?

If you went to buy a beast I'm sure the price would be $665.99, as they always end in nine. Of course there would be tax on the beast as you can't avoid tax even in Hades, this brings the total price of your beast purchase to $720.93. But of course you could go to Walmart for your beast purchase where their everyday low beast price is $649.00. Wait until next week and they'll run the beast on sale for $639.95.

Of course, the beast would need gas! After all, you don't want to run out of gas while using your newly purchased beast. Imagine how uncool you'd look walking down Maynardville HWY with your beast carrying a gas can. I'm sure he would buy gas at the nearest Phillips 666 station. I think the nearest one is on Route 666.

So anyway, no matter what happens with this Crusade thing. It got me to thinking about religion again. And that's a good thing! I think.

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