This page ©1999 Chip Brown.

Law of the Land

Murphy had the right idea when he wrote his now universally recognized law of life. The one that says "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong." I have lived by this law for many years now. Can't say I've really prospered by it, but it seems to have governed my life. But along the way I have written some laws myself. Here is a sample of what I like to call Chip's Laws of the Land.

First my take on Murphy and his law. In the beginning I used to think that Murphy was right when he said "whatever can go wrong will go wrong." Today at age 34 I realize Murphy was an optimist.

Someone once told me if you think negative thoughts negative things happen. This leads me to Chip's Law #1.
If you think negative thoughts bad things happen. However, if you think only positive thoughts, bad things happen.

I was always fascinated by the phrase, "He's opened a real can of worms now." I asked someone what that meant and they told me that it meant that someone did something that they can't weasel out of. I firmly believe that no problem is so immense that one can't weasel out of it.
This leads me to Chip's Law #2
If you do indeed open a can of worms in life, don't let anyone tell you that you can't close it. Simply put them in a bigger can.

I have often done some of my best thinking while standing in line at stores. I guess it's just because I have so much time there.
This leads me to Chip's Law #3
I call this my grocery store law. It says simply, "The other line moves faster."

The law of gravity might have very well been the first law I ever studied. Newton had a good idea, or as good as you can have after being struck in the head by falling fruit. But I have my own law of gravity.
This leads me to Chip's Law #4
Whatever you drop will fall in such a way as to cause as much damage as possible.

Some of my laws are based on fact and some are not.
This leads me to Chip's Law #5
If the facts do not support your theory they are irrellevant.

I deal with problems every day. Sometimes I fix other's problems, sometimes I fix my own. When I have no problems I sit in a room alone until I imagine one.
This leads me to Chip's Law #6
Inside all of life's little problems, is a huge problem waiting to get out.

Sometimes my laws get me into sticky situations in which there seems to be no way out.
This leads me to Chip's Law #7
When asked a question you don't care to answer or asked a question you don't know the answer to...mumble.

Werner Von Braun was in my opinion both mad and brilliant. Mad in that he created what would become ICBMs but brilliant in his writings on life. I adopted one of his laws as my own.
This leads me to Chip's Law #8
Research is what you're doing when you don't know what you're doing.

As a kid I was always having to ask permission for everything I wanted to do.
This leads me to Chip's Law #9
Any kid knows this one "It's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission."

There are many paths to success in life. But regardless which path you take you must follow a rule.
This leads me to Chip's Law #10
There are two rules to success. 1) Never tell everything you know and 2)...?

I have always felt that God won't punish you for your thoughts. This applies to many things in life.
This leads me to Chip's Law #11
If you go to Walmarts and select a hammer for purchase, you will without a doubt, while carrying it to the checkout lines, have the urge to give someone a good whack up side the head.
Law #11a
Should you give into law #11, they most likely won't sell you the hammer.

Sometimes even I feel pretty good about life.
This leads me to Chip's Law #12
If you begin to feel good about life, don't worry there will be someone along soon to put a stop to that for you.

Sometimes I have problems at work that seem so large!
This leads me to Chip's Law #13
When you run into a problem at work, sometimes it's best to ask yourself, what would Godzilla do in this situation. Most everything Godzilla would do is followed shortly by job hunting.

PT Barnum said "You can fool all the people some of the time."
This leads me to Chip's Law #14
PT Barnum never met your mother.

In any office there is one person who really knows what they're doing.
This leads me to Chip's Law #15
The person in the office who knows what they're doing must be fired. They're making you look bad.

History is all in the past!
This leads me to Chip's Law #16
History always repeats itself. Although, I think if teachers would quit telling people about it, we'd forget soon enough.

All the world is in motion.
This leads me to Chip's Law #17
All the world is indeed in motion, however, it's usually going the opposite way than the way you wanted.

And finally Chip's Law #18
If you own a business and have difficult tasks for your employees, hire lazy people. No matter how hard the task, they will always find the easiest way to deal with it.

The contents of this page does not necessarily represent the opinions of Maynardville.Com, it's owners or the staff.