This page ©1999 Chip Brown.

What'd You Expect?

Which is more pathetic? A man who supposedly has a lot of money getting on TV to audition wives or the women who parade around in hopes of winning his favor? I'll tell you before I go on I don't have a lot of pity for either.

The man is a true idiot first class! This just goes to prove that in America you don't have to have a brain to amass a million dollars. He goes on TV and does something stupid like have a beauty pageant that says Win and Marry a Millionaire! Then he sits in a booth and watches all these women parade by, promising him true love.

I told my wife at the beginning he'd marry that Darva girl. After all she was the only one with blond hair, flat stomach, an didn't look like a cow walking on two legs. Personally, I'd have married the dark haired girl with braces, she was a real cutey pie, I thought. Don't know what my wife thought because when I turned to my wife on the sofa and said the dark haired girl was a cutey, she was busy hitting me.

So anyway, after the sham marriage falls apart he gets on TV and cries and sobs. Idiot! He could not have made himself look more foolish if he had stepped from the booth naked with an innertube around his neck.

Then the woman who won gets on TV and starts saying how horrible it was. How her morals wouldn't have allowed her to stay in that marriage! Please! It galls me to see this bimbo try to take the highroad on morals. She married a man she had known for three minutes. She entered a contest to win marriage to a man whom she only knew one thing about. He had a million dollars.

He's a moron and she's a bimbo. The Fox Network is now a laughing stock. Wonder how many executives got fired over this one?

Don't get me wrong, I admit that I'd love to have fifty young ladies parading around hoping to win marriage to me. I don't think my wife would approve, but I'd still like it. But if I did I hope that I'd realize that I am pathetic and making a fool of myself. The closest I'll ever come to this, is watching the ringcard girls walk around the ring between the rounds of the toughman competition on FX.

Do you get the feeling that I'm making fun of the woman more than the man? Well yes I am. All that can be said about the man was that he was an idiot for doing this on TV in front of a zillion people. Any man worth his testosterone would have done the same thing given the money and the chance.

But, this woman is worse than an idiot, she's a liar and I can prove it. Recently she gave an interview with Diane Sawyer. In this interview she said, "My mother is an invalid and my brother is very ill. I had to move them both in with me and their care occupies all my time. I only did this to have a vacation." Hmmm? Well, let me rewind my tape back to the part of the show where they handed this woman a microphone and asked her to say something to the hidden millionaire.

She held the microphone and said " I would like a man who wants to travel and see the world. I can't wait to see Europe once we're married."

What'd she intend to do with invalid mom and sick brother?

So then it comes out that this guy is a woman beater and may not have a million dollars. Miss Darva looks shocked and said I had no idea! Well of course not. Given that she has limited gray matter (brains) she could not see anything wrong with marrying this guy. After all, the name of the show was Who Wants To Marry a Millionaire, not Who Wants To Marry a Girlfriend Beating, Hooked Nosed, Deviant, Who May Not Have A Lot Of Money."

I'm just glad my wife didn't have an annulment clause in our marriage. On our honeymoon I accidentally set fire to all of the toilet paper in our hotel room. Don't ask how, just rest assured that's another article.

My point is I married my wife the good ole fashioned way. I stalked her and begged endlessly until she gave in and married me.

The contents of this page does not necessarily represent the opinions of Maynardville.Com, it's owners or the staff.