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Chip Brown.

Blackberry Withdrawal

Okay, I'm upset this week. No beating around the bush, I'm going straight to the point here. I am outraged and simply flustered by something I discovered right here in Maynardville the other day.

It is so mind numbing that I can't believe it to this day and it happened last week. I waited this long to write about it because I was just too astonished and mad to be objective about it.

It has nothing to do with my taxes, the courthouse, school system or County Court.

Has anyone but me noticed that Hensley's IGA doesn't carry blackberry jelly? Not even in generic!

The other day I was having a craving for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I drove over to Hensley's because my jelly supply had ran out. Plenty of peanut butter but no jelly. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich just isn't the same without jelly. It's just missing something.

My wife went in with me because there was something she wanted too. I can't remember what it was she wanted but certainly it wasn't as important as my blackberry jelly.

After we went to the jelly isle, I scoured the shelves for Smucker's Blackberry Jelly. Now, let me explain I only eat blackberry jelly. I may eat Bama or Smucker's but it has to be blackberry. Sure, there were all sorts of jellys in the isle but no blackberry. It was sort of like being on a raft in the middle of the ocean. Sure, there is plenty of water around, but none you would care to drink.

After five minutes of looking, my wife convinced me that they weren't hiding the blackberry jelly and she got a jar of black raspberry. I have no idea who she thought she was fooling, I wanted blackberry and raspberry was no substitute.

Now, as some of you realize I have lived in Union County all my life. I know most everyone and most everyone knows me. So, it was not unusual for me to know a large percentage of the customers at Hensley's that day. My wife expressed to me that it was allright to know these people but she wished I would quit stopping them to announce that the store didn't carry blackberry jelly. I'll have you know the six people I stopped were all amazed that there was no blackberry jelly. All six hurried off from me, I'm sure to go see for themselves. I could tell by the looks on their faces as they ran away, they were as horrified as myself.

As I stood there in line, waiting on my wife to write the check, I asked the cashier if she was aware that they didn't carry blackberry jelly. She seemed shocked that I would mention this. She was nice enough to ask if I wanted her to tell management. "Well no, not really," I replied, "I was just wondering if you knew." My wife of course got one of her "I can't believe him" looks on her face.

I don't know if it was the look on her face or the way she stepped on my foot, but I got the feeling she didn't want to hear any more about the blackberry jelly. So I asked the bagboy what made his black hair turn white on top. Remarking that surely he didn't do that on purpose. I got the distinct feeling my wife wanted to be somewhere else.

Yes, I'll continue to go to Hensley's because I hate Krogers. And because Hensley's carries banana popsicles. But I do wish they would carry blackberry jelly. I bet after this day, my wife wishes they did too.

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