This page ©1999 Chip Brown.

Broken Promises

When I was in school, possibly the fourth grade society made many promises to me. I was told of the wonders of science and what I could expect by the year 2000.

Robots that clean our houses, cars that ride on air! Ovens that prepare our meals automatically, refrigerators that restock themselves. Time travel, alien contact most certainly would be achieved by the year 2000.

Maybe it's just me, but I am very disappointed in the future that is today. All the promises of rayguns and robots. I feel robbed! Where did all the money go that our government spent on studying this or that? What sort of newfangled gadget did we receive for all the money we spent on science in the past 35 years?

I've looked around and there are no robots in my home. The only thing that automatically cleans the floor is me (when my wife makes me). There are no new appliances that seem substantially different now than they were in the 60's. And before you say it, the first microwave oven was made in 1958.

No, science just hasn't given me my money's worth. It seems billions and billions of dollars have been spent on scientific research, only to turn out the most mediocre inventions.

If the best science could do was to create a gadget that turns your lights on and off when I clap my hands, I feel very cheated.

But then again, I was told that the Russians would invade us and take all of our Bibles and guns by now. Wow, I'm glad that didn't happen. But in the fourth grade, I just didn't understand what the Russians wanted with our Bibles and guns. And if they wanted them so much why not just take the Bibles from motel rooms?

Oh, some progress has been made. We now have a vehicle that can take astronauts into space pretty much at will. Don't see the use of it. Must be something pretty good though, we do it over and over again.

So I guess the best that can be said of the innovations we have now as opposed to 30 years ago is:

We have a very expensive space taxi and a doo dad that turns my lights on when I clap my hands. Although the other night I slapped a mosquito and fell down my basement stairs. Seems squashing critters, and clapping hands make similar sounds. I'm not sure who was more surprised, the bug that got squashed or me when the stairway lights went out.

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