This page ©1999 Chip Brown.

In The Good Old Days?

Okay all you old people, you've been telling us for years about the good old days, what was so good about them?

You had to walk uphill both ways to get to school every day. You were so poor you had to play with rocks because you didn't get toys. My dad always said his family was lucky to have rocks. Many nights he said he sat up guarding his rocks to keep the neighbor kids from stealing them.

When I was a kid I played with rocks too. I used one to bean the kid across the street. Funny how people that played with rocks years ago, don't think it's so great when I do it.

You keep telling us how we should be happy to have what we have because back in the good ole' days you didn't have squat! Maybe I should drive down to a homeless mission and find some poor guy who doesn't have anything. Then maybe I should quote you and remind him that one day he'll look back and say, "Boy that was the good ole days!"

You say back in your day leaders of the world changed the course of history. Well, kids do that every time they take a history test. Except when I took the History test and changed World War II to the 1960's I got an F!

You always tell us that in the good old days a man got ahead by hard work and ambition. Well, these days it's easier just to kiss up to the boss. After all, that guy that's working hard will do enough for the both of us. There are plenty of people in an office who would love for you to work hard. You can cover their two hour lunches and golf matches in the afternoon. These thankful souls are called slackers and bosses.

Back in your day Roosevelt said "Walk softly and carry a big stick." In my day they'd get him shot. What would you do if you saw someone creeping up your driveway carrying a big stick? How did someone with thinking like that become president? Maybe because people who thought that these were the good ole days went to the polls!

And while we're on the president subject your Hoover promised "Two cars in every garage!" Well blame him next time you go to the mall and find two cars for every parking place. Police shouldn't give out parking tickets at the mall, they should give out awards just for finding a place to put your car.

You always told us the more things change the more they stay the same. Could you possibly be more vague than that? Is this something that you say when you can't think of wierder things to say? Well, try this one " Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before." It says the same thing and makes no more sense.

In your day young ladies sought men with a strong will for marriage. Women are a lot more smart today, the seek out an old man with a will. After finding and hitching up with this guy they then jump out of closets at him. Hoping the geezer will keel over and the bimbo and her boyfriend can spend his rusty dimes.

When I was young I was called young and foolish. Now that I'm 34 am I old and foolisher? Maybe so, I guess I prove that with every article I write.

Seems times now aren't that much different, maybe just a bit faster.

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