Blueplate Special

I told you if the "Save the Cows" people didn't apologize to me I'd do something stupid. Well, here it is, I hope you're all happy now.

I never thought I would be writing this, but an article has now passed Lake Monster as the number one mail getter. My Save The Cows article has left it in the dust. I think the Save The Cow people put me on some sort of list, because every Thursday I get hatemail, telling me I'm sick, I need to get a clue etc. etc. First off, no matter what they call me I'm still going to like a flame broiled steak with A-1 sauce. If that makes me sick then brother hand me the barf bag.

However, I am not without feelings and if these people feel so strongly about not eating cows, maybe it is time we look for alternatives. Fortunately, I live in Tennessee where our legislature has made it perfectly legal to eat roadkill! Folks, Hwy 33 is a virtual cafeteria of dining delights. I intend to be the first to open a roadkill diner in Union County!

We could start the diner off with "The Chicken That Didn't Cross The Road" for $2.99 and includes soup (poodles and noodles) and salad. How's that for a beginner and I haven't even got off Ailor Gap Road yet.

Here could be a sample of our menu:

Yellow Line Bovine
The best beef straight from the centerline of Walker Ford Road. Served hot off the grill of my '79 Ford Truck. Smothered in radiator sauce.

Flatcats and Sausage
A heapin' helpin' of our famous flatcats smothered in syrup served with a side of sausage, when in season or found in the road.
Single Flatcat $1.99
Stack O' Cats $3.99
Flatcat Value Pack with extra kittens. $5.99

Chunk O' Skunk
Served with a smidgen of pigeon as a side order. The aroma keeps you coming back for more.

Rigor Mortis Tortoise
Slow cooked (you knew that was coming didn't you?)
Served with our special desert: Road Ala Mode

As always we only serve Free Range Dog, no collars here.

Slab O' Lab
A coice cut of our famous roadkill dog.

BBQ Weiner Dog
HOT DOG!

Shephard Pot Pie
Served in Chevy gravy for that special roasted rubber taste.

Sheep Dog Surprise
Some people say it's Baaaaaaad to the bone.

Thumper From The Bumper
Fresh Roadsmacked Venisen, keep the antlers as our souvenir.

Awsome Possum
Served still in it's natural pose, frozen staring right at you.

All meals served with a choice of sides still in their hides.

And while you're waiting in our lobby try our two house special appetizer we like to call "Guess that mess."

So, no matter if you dine in or take advantage of one of our bag and gag carry out specials, you're sure to have a unique dining experience.

All of our roadkill is fresh, none of that frozen stuff for us. Every morning Bob and Ed head out in the Buick to do our shopping on Maynardville Hwy.

I'm really going to get it for this one ain't I? Well before you address that hate letter or e-mail to me...Remember, it was your legislators that said we could eat this stuff. Now you think about it. Whose crazier? Me for pointing out the foolishness of it? Or you for electing people weirder than me that would actually vote it into law!

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