Litigate This

My motto is "Tax the rich and leave the poor alone!" However, if I ever get rich my motto will change to "I'm rich, to heck with everybody else!"

So, I pick up the Union News Leader this week and am amazed to find that our creative County Court has found a new way to increase revenue. Now, I'll admit that this County Court seems to be trying to do a good job. Regardless, of what we think of their ideas, we must applaud their ambition to come up with new innovative ways to get money.

However, with that in mind, I cannot support their latest measure to increase revenue, a litigation tax. Now, for those of you who don't know, a litigation tax is a tax on every lawsuit filed in the county, both civil and criminal. Under this plan the county would get an additional $10 for every lawsuit filed.

I see a problem in that. The way our local governments are always getting involved in suits, they're going to make a fortune off themselves. Shoot I wouldn't put it past some politicians to screw things up just to get $10 for a lawsuit. Hey, don't think that's so far fetched. Last week, our Federal Government allocated millions to study some sort of desert turtle.

I'll never understand a government that spends millions to send some nut out in the desert to watch what some turtle does all day, but I'll bet you they don't spend ten minutes wondering what a homeless person does.

I'll tell you what, for $10,000 I'll tell them what turtles do. No, darn it, I'll do my American duty and tell them for free. Turtles crawl, eat and poop. Not very interesting creatures to watch, but since the government wants to know so bad, I've told them. A turtle's whole day is spent crawling, eating and pooping. Now I know they won't believe me, and they feel justified in paying some "scientist" a gazillion dollars to find out what a turtle does all day. However, I suggest to you that if you take this scientist's 3,000 page report on the activities of a turtle, the book report could be summed up by any third grader in 5 words. Turtles crawl, eat and poop!

But it takes taxes to spend millions to study turtles, and I guess some people think it's worth it. After all, look at all the great things man has gotten from turtle research....

But my point is this, everything is taxed to death. Every year our government changes the tax forms. All the tax laws are changed from the years before. Then the government's talking head get's on TV and says, we changed the tax laws to stimulate the economy. We'll the only thing changing the tax laws stimulates is how much I'm charged for filling out my taxes each year by my accountant. If there is ever a form of perpetual motion discovered in the world, I figure it will have something to do with tax forms.

Now it's getting to where if you want to file a lawsuit against your government you have to give them $10 to allow you to sue them. Even if you win, the government you sued gets $10 to allow you that priveledge. I don't get it.

If our forefathers protested and fought against taxation without representation I wonder what they'd think of our form of taxation with it?

I have been to churches that believe in tithing. This is the belief that 10% of your income should be pledged to the church for the use of God. Now there's one tax I'd never complain about. God takes my 10% and makes pretty trees and keeps me from getting run down by trucks. But there is something that bothers me. If God can do everything with 10%, how come our government has to have 30%?

I suspect it's because God already knows about turtles and doesn't need some third rate scientist to look at them for him.

You know, the odd thing is, if a church sues you they have to pay the county $10 to do it. I guess that $10 comes out of God's 10%. So, no matter how much I complain about taxes, these people are going to have to answer God one day when he looks at them through the pearly gates and says...

Why did you spend my 10% to study turtles?

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